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Literature Text
Don: Alright, the combatants are set. It's time to end this debate once and for all.
Jerry: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!!!
--
Donkey Kong Island
It was a beautiful day on Donkey Kong Island, the sun shining as bugs and birds flew through the air.
Donkey Kong laid in a hammock inside of his treetop home, getting some rest after a long day banana hoarding. Swinging from side to side, Donkey Kong entered a deep slumber.
----
a few hours later...
----
Donkey Kong was awoken by a crash. Stumbling off of the hammock, DK felt his floor shake from the sheer force of whatever hit his house. Running to the window, Donkey Kong looked to see what could have caused such a ruckus. Peeking down, he saw what looked like a human being embedded in the tree trunk. Two bloody stumps which used to be legs poked out.
To DK's horror, he looked around to see a beastly creature sitting upon a throne of skulls, being worshipped by innocent humans and animals alike. Even worse, the creature was eating bananas. Donkey Kong's bananas. Enraged at the idea that some foreign creature would have the gall to take over his island and eat his bananas, DK headed out to confront him.
Grodd sat upon his throne, enjoying his spoils of victory. "This is a perfect base of operation!", Grodd thought to himself. "These pitiful creatures should be grateful that they are lucky enough to be graced by my presence!"
Suddenly, a loud crash is heard. Grodd, shocked, looked up at the tree above him to see an ape-like creature barreling out of a tree-house. Donkey Kong slowly walked up to Grodd, scowling at him furiously. Grodd, got up to greet this ape, thinking he would be an ally. "Hello, simian brother! Join me!"
Donkey Kong cocked his head to the side, confused. "What's wro-", Grodd's question was cut short by Donkey Kong punching him directly in the stomach. Grodd flew backwards from the sheer force of the attack, getting knocked through a row of palm trees. Standing up, Grodd held is head in pain and gasped for air. "Nobody attacks Grodd and lives!"
FIGHT!
Grodd, dashing across the jungle floor, decked DK in the face with a right hook. DK flung his head back in pain, but retaliated with a swift punch to Grodd's skull. With a crack, the enourmous power behind the punch knocked Grodd senseless.
Trying to buy himself some time to think and come up with a plan, Grood latches onto DK's arm, and opens his mouth wide before biting down with all of his might. DK screeched in pain as the gorilla's sharp fangs burrowed deep into his flesh.
In an attempt to shake the Grodd off, DK swung his arm around wildly.
Ding!
A cartoon light-bulb appeared above DK's head. Donkey Kong grabbed onto a nearby tree and swung his arm into it. Donkey's extreme power, with the addition of Grodd's weight, smashed the tree to splinters the moment they made contact. Grodd roared in pain, unintentionally tearing his fangs out of DK's arm.
"Damn, he's not letting up! I need time to plan!", Grodd thought to himself. Then it hit him. "Hypnosis!", he thought. DK approached Grodd. "Wait!", Grodd yelled. Staring deep into DK's eyes. "Obey me, you inferior creature!", screamed Grodd at the top of his lungs. DK sat there, scratching his head. Grodd stared deep into DK's eyes, trying to hit him with a telepathic attack. Donkey just sat there, scratching his head. What was he trying to do.
"Impossible! No one's ever resisted my hypnosis like that!", Grodd thought to himself. Latching onto Grodd, DK rolled across the ground before leaping into the air and slamming the gorilla down to the jungle floor. DK picked the stunned beast up off the ground, holding him the air.
Winding up a punch, DK reeled back, and than threw his fist forward with all of his strength. His massive fist collided with Grodd's gut. Grodd was thrown across the island by the sheer force of DK's attack. Flying at incredible speeds, Grodd tumbled through the greenery, before smacking into the volcano at the center of Donkey Kong Island with enough power to split it in half.
DK watched from afar, grinning. Thinking that he'd won, the Kong turned around to make his way back to the treehouse.
Trying to buy himself some time to think and come up with a plan, Grood latches onto DK's arm, and opens his mouth wide before biting down with all of his might. DK screeched in pain as the gorilla's sharp fangs burrowed deep into his flesh.
In an attempt to shake the Grodd off, DK swung his arm around wildly.
Ding!
A cartoon light-bulb appeared above DK's head. Donkey Kong grabbed onto a nearby tree and swung his arm into it. Donkey's extreme power, with the addition of Grodd's weight, smashed the tree to splinters the moment they made contact. Grodd roared in pain, unintentionally tearing his fangs out of DK's arm.
"Damn, he's not letting up! I need time to plan!", Grodd thought to himself. Then it hit him. "Hypnosis!", he thought. DK approached Grodd. "Wait!", Grodd yelled. Staring deep into DK's eyes. "Obey me, you inferior creature!", screamed Grodd at the top of his lungs. DK sat there, scratching his head. Grodd stared deep into DK's eyes, trying to hit him with a telepathic attack. Donkey just sat there, scratching his head. What was he trying to do.
"Impossible! No one's ever resisted my hypnosis like that!", Grodd thought to himself. Latching onto Grodd, DK rolled across the ground before leaping into the air and slamming the gorilla down to the jungle floor. DK picked the stunned beast up off the ground, holding him the air.
Winding up a punch, DK reeled back, and than threw his fist forward with all of his strength. His massive fist collided with Grodd's gut. Grodd was thrown across the island by the sheer force of DK's attack. Flying at incredible speeds, Grodd tumbled through the greenery, before smacking into the volcano at the center of Donkey Kong Island with enough power to split it in half.
DK watched from afar, grinning. Thinking that he'd won, the Kong turned around to make his way back to the treehouse.
Out of the blue, DK was hit with a flurry of punches from all sides! "Having trouble keeping up?", Grodd said as he punched the Kong at the speed of sound. Punches and kicks were coming from every direction, knocking DK around like a pinball. The punches started slowing down. Grodd was going for the kill. He went to uppercut DK and finish him off.
All Donkey needed was a good hit. A good, solid hit. DK charged his Giant Punch, winding his arm up as Grodd charged towards the Kong. Grodd reached Kong right when his punch had built up a good charge
Bingo.
DK bashed Grodd right in the ribs with a half-charged punch. Grodd was shocked by the immense power behind the attack. The blow seemed to slow down time as all the energy from the punch transferred to Grodd's body.
The gorilla shot through the air like a bullet, crashing through everything before hitting a tree and utterly obliterating it. Grodd, still not down for the count, pulled himself up, ready to fight.
"Oh, shit", Grodd whispered to himself as he looked in front of him. Coconuts flew through the air, heading straight towards the ape. Grodd readied himself, and with a few punches, knocked the coconuts away faster than the eye could see.
Grodd scouted the area, trying to find DK. As he surveyed the landscape, he was clocked in the head by another coconut from above. Looking up, he saw his foe standing in the treetops.
In a fit of rage, Grodd rushed over to the tree and dug is nails into the bark, getting a grip. The gorilla lifted up, heaving and breathing heavily. DK wobbled as he felt the branch he was standing on start to shake along with the rest of the tree. Realizing that Grodd was uprooting his vantage point, DK leaped to the tree next to the the one he was on.
Grodd pulled the tree out of the ground, realizing to late that he had already missed his chance. Grodd angrily screamed at the top of his lungs as he tossed the tree towards the one DK was in. DK predictably hopped to the next one. Grodd screeched in anger. He ran towards the tree and punched it down, but by the time he did, DK was already gone.
Grodd ran as fast as he could, while DK jumped from tree to tree. Running alongside the trees, Grodd punched down every single one, but he missed Kong every time.
"GRAAAH!", Grodd screamed. "This ends here!", he shouted as he picked up the tree DK was on with his telekinetic powers.
DK held onto the branches for dear life as the tree was ripped straight from the ground and swung around in the air. The tree was bashed into the ground over and over, with DK inside.
DK was dizzy, but than noticed that there was a Donkey Barrel nearby. Donkey let go and leaped into the barell. Feeling a lot less weight holding onto the tree, Grodd thought he had killed his foe.
"Hahahaha!", he laughed maniacally. "I told you, you pathetic creature, NOBODY BEATS GRODD!", he belted out. Suddenly, an explosion was heard as a familiar ape rocketed through the sky. Donkey had popped out of the barrel, he had went into Strong Kong mode.
All Donkey needed was a good hit. A good, solid hit. DK charged his Giant Punch, winding his arm up as Grodd charged towards the Kong. Grodd reached Kong right when his punch had built up a good charge
Bingo.
DK bashed Grodd right in the ribs with a half-charged punch. Grodd was shocked by the immense power behind the attack. The blow seemed to slow down time as all the energy from the punch transferred to Grodd's body.
The gorilla shot through the air like a bullet, crashing through everything before hitting a tree and utterly obliterating it. Grodd, still not down for the count, pulled himself up, ready to fight.
"Oh, shit", Grodd whispered to himself as he looked in front of him. Coconuts flew through the air, heading straight towards the ape. Grodd readied himself, and with a few punches, knocked the coconuts away faster than the eye could see.
Grodd scouted the area, trying to find DK. As he surveyed the landscape, he was clocked in the head by another coconut from above. Looking up, he saw his foe standing in the treetops.
Grodd pulled the tree out of the ground, realizing to late that he had already missed his chance. Grodd angrily screamed at the top of his lungs as he tossed the tree towards the one DK was in. DK predictably hopped to the next one. Grodd screeched in anger. He ran towards the tree and punched it down, but by the time he did, DK was already gone.
Grodd ran as fast as he could, while DK jumped from tree to tree. Running alongside the trees, Grodd punched down every single one, but he missed Kong every time.
"GRAAAH!", Grodd screamed. "This ends here!", he shouted as he picked up the tree DK was on with his telekinetic powers.
DK held onto the branches for dear life as the tree was ripped straight from the ground and swung around in the air. The tree was bashed into the ground over and over, with DK inside.
DK was dizzy, but than noticed that there was a Donkey Barrel nearby. Donkey let go and leaped into the barell. Feeling a lot less weight holding onto the tree, Grodd thought he had killed his foe.
"Hahahaha!", he laughed maniacally. "I told you, you pathetic creature, NOBODY BEATS GRODD!", he belted out. Suddenly, an explosion was heard as a familiar ape rocketed through the sky. Donkey had popped out of the barrel, he had went into Strong Kong mode.
"What!?", Grodd said as he saw his foe which he had thought he had finished off. He charged at DK, attempting to catch DK in a hrricane of attacks again. Grodd was merciless, but Kong didn't even flinch. Donkey grabbed the gorilla by the leg and held him in the air, before slamming him down to the ground.
DK brought Grodd up again, and threw him to the ground. DK went to finish the job, but his fist was grabbed out of the air. His time with Strong Kong was up.
DK brought Grodd up again, and threw him to the ground. DK went to finish the job, but his fist was grabbed out of the air. His time with Strong Kong was up.
"Nice try, mongrel!", Grodd said before lifting DK up and throwing him. DK slammed into a tree and hit the ground. Donkey was getting frustrated, but then saw a barrel cannon. Hopping into it, DK was launched through the air. He was heading straight for Grodd as he tumbled through the air. Donkey grabbed onto the giant gorilla, bringing him along for the ride.
They traded blows mid-air, before crashing into a boulder. DK, tumbled back, unharmed, as he was used to this. Grodd, on the other hand, fell down to the floor, injured.
DK grabbed an exploding barrel and tossed it at the injured gorilla. Grodd noticed, however, and made a mad dash for Donkey Kong. Thanks to his enormous speed, he was able to grab the Kong before he could even react. Holding him in the air by his neck, Grodd planned to finish the job. "This ends here, ape!", Grodd shouted. He reeled back, prepared to bring his fist forward and finish off DK...
But he was clobbered in the back of the head by one of the homing-coconuts he batted out of the way earlier.
Stunned, Grodd dropped Kong to the ground and tried to regain his balance. This was it. DK had an opening. DK began charging his Giant Punch and reeled his arm back. Grodd got back on his feet at the moment DK reached his full potential.
Craaaaack
Donkey Kong uppercut, Grodd, effectively breaking his jaw. Grodd felt his life flash before his eyes as he began to take flight. The gorilla rocketed through the sky at speeds faster than light, his skin melting away to show muscle as he burned to a crisp in the atmosphere.
Bwing
Grodd was gone, all that was left was a twinkle among the stars and a gorilla-shaped constellation among the night-sky.
They traded blows mid-air, before crashing into a boulder. DK, tumbled back, unharmed, as he was used to this. Grodd, on the other hand, fell down to the floor, injured.
DK grabbed an exploding barrel and tossed it at the injured gorilla. Grodd noticed, however, and made a mad dash for Donkey Kong. Thanks to his enormous speed, he was able to grab the Kong before he could even react. Holding him in the air by his neck, Grodd planned to finish the job. "This ends here, ape!", Grodd shouted. He reeled back, prepared to bring his fist forward and finish off DK...
But he was clobbered in the back of the head by one of the homing-coconuts he batted out of the way earlier.
Stunned, Grodd dropped Kong to the ground and tried to regain his balance. This was it. DK had an opening. DK began charging his Giant Punch and reeled his arm back. Grodd got back on his feet at the moment DK reached his full potential.
Craaaaack
Donkey Kong uppercut, Grodd, effectively breaking his jaw. Grodd felt his life flash before his eyes as he began to take flight. The gorilla rocketed through the sky at speeds faster than light, his skin melting away to show muscle as he burned to a crisp in the atmosphere.
Bwing
Grodd was gone, all that was left was a twinkle among the stars and a gorilla-shaped constellation among the night-sky.
K.O.!
Jerry: Did Donkey Kong just punch Grodd so hard he broke reality?
Don: I think... I think he did.
Jerry: I need to sit down and take that in for a second.
Don: Grodd may have been smarter, faster, and more agile, but DK trumped in every other way imaginable. He was stronger, taller, heavier, more versatile, and more durable. Speed isn't much when your opponent could turn you into a bloody pulp with one good punch.
Jerry: I think I'm good now. Ahem. Grodd isn't much of a fighter, instead opting for a more intellectual approach. This sounds good on paper, but not when the person you're fighting is one of the most skilled fighters in their universe. Donkey Kong is so strong that if you aren't planet-busting tier, you will lose, at least in a fist-fight.
Don: DK is unbelievably strong. Not only can he punch characters over twice his size and twice as heavy as him into the atmosphere, but he also picked up and threw the Ghastly King. The Ghastly King is around building-size. Don't believe us? Look at him compared to DK. Keep in mind that Donkey Kong himself is already 7'10".
Don: I think... I think he did.
Jerry: I need to sit down and take that in for a second.
Don: Grodd may have been smarter, faster, and more agile, but DK trumped in every other way imaginable. He was stronger, taller, heavier, more versatile, and more durable. Speed isn't much when your opponent could turn you into a bloody pulp with one good punch.
Jerry: I think I'm good now. Ahem. Grodd isn't much of a fighter, instead opting for a more intellectual approach. This sounds good on paper, but not when the person you're fighting is one of the most skilled fighters in their universe. Donkey Kong is so strong that if you aren't planet-busting tier, you will lose, at least in a fist-fight.
Don: DK is unbelievably strong. Not only can he punch characters over twice his size and twice as heavy as him into the atmosphere, but he also picked up and threw the Ghastly King. The Ghastly King is around building-size. Don't believe us? Look at him compared to DK. Keep in mind that Donkey Kong himself is already 7'10".
Don: Grodd is even shorter and less heavy than DK, leaving no question that Donkey King could easily overpower him.
Jerry: Keeping in mind the moon punch, Donkey Kong is at least small planet levels of durable, due to Newton's Third Law. The punch should have exerted as much force on him as it did the moon, so that means DK can survive the force required to move an object out of orbit.
Don: Donkey Kong carries advanced weaponry like the Coconut Shooter, and has too many power-ups to count. Grodd, on the other hand, barely ever uses any weapons more advanced than spears, and that's giving him the benefit of the doubt that he would even bring weapons. He's more of a fist-fighter.
Jerry: Most importantly, Gorilla Grodd relies heavily on his hypnosis and telepathic attacks. Unfortunately for him, these attacks would have no chance of working on Donkey Kong. DK resisted hypnosis in the beginning of DKCR without even trying. Keep in mind that this wasn't an amateur hypnotist, but rather an ancient tiki-monster that was shown to be able to hypnotize every other animal on the island.
Don: So, not only was Grodd overpowered by the sheer strength of DK, but he also couldn't rely on the powers that have helped him achieve most of his victories. In the end, Grodd stood no chance.
Jerry: In the end, Grodd achieved what most others can only dream of. He became a star! Ha! Get it!?
Don: Your puns are insufferable. The winner is Donkey Kong.
WINNER!
+Stronger
+More Durable
+More Versatile
+Better Technology
+Able to Resist Hypnosis
+Dong Expansion
+More Wins
-Incredibly Stupid
-Slower
LOSER!
+Smarter
+Faster
+More Brutal
-No Notable Weaponry
-Weaker
-Smaller
-Lighter
-Less Skilled Fighter
-Couldn't Rely on Telepathic Powers
-Worse Win-Loss Record
Jerry: Keeping in mind the moon punch, Donkey Kong is at least small planet levels of durable, due to Newton's Third Law. The punch should have exerted as much force on him as it did the moon, so that means DK can survive the force required to move an object out of orbit.
Don: Donkey Kong carries advanced weaponry like the Coconut Shooter, and has too many power-ups to count. Grodd, on the other hand, barely ever uses any weapons more advanced than spears, and that's giving him the benefit of the doubt that he would even bring weapons. He's more of a fist-fighter.
Jerry: Most importantly, Gorilla Grodd relies heavily on his hypnosis and telepathic attacks. Unfortunately for him, these attacks would have no chance of working on Donkey Kong. DK resisted hypnosis in the beginning of DKCR without even trying. Keep in mind that this wasn't an amateur hypnotist, but rather an ancient tiki-monster that was shown to be able to hypnotize every other animal on the island.
Don: So, not only was Grodd overpowered by the sheer strength of DK, but he also couldn't rely on the powers that have helped him achieve most of his victories. In the end, Grodd stood no chance.
Jerry: In the end, Grodd achieved what most others can only dream of. He became a star! Ha! Get it!?
Don: Your puns are insufferable. The winner is Donkey Kong.
WINNER!
+Stronger
+More Durable
+More Versatile
+Better Technology
+Able to Resist Hypnosis
+Dong Expansion
+More Wins
-Incredibly Stupid
-Slower
LOSER!
+Smarter
+Faster
+More Brutal
-No Notable Weaponry
-Weaker
-Smaller
-Lighter
-Less Skilled Fighter
-Couldn't Rely on Telepathic Powers
-Worse Win-Loss Record
NEXT TIME ON DEATH BATTLE!
Literature
DEATH BATTLE: Bayonetta vs. Lobo (Prelude)
Razor: "WHAUGH! Woah, hey, we're back! Because Adam's an indecisive twat."
Jack: "Hey, that's mean."
Razor: "So uh... What do these two have in common?"
Jack: "......Um... They wear black...?"
Razor: "...Good enough. Bayonetta, the left eye of the world."
Jack: "And Lobo, the main man."
Razor: "I'm Razor and this guy's Jack."
Jack: "And we're here to analyze everything they've got to determine the winner... of a Death Battle."
BAYONETTA
BACKGROUND:Birth Name: Cereza
Born: December 19th, 1411
Age: 500+ years.
Weight: It's rude to ask a lady that.
Winner of the 2015 Smash Ballot.
Is rather... kinky in her line of work.
Jack: "For centu
Literature
Donkey Kong goes APE in DEATH BATTLE!
The following Bio was originally uploaded my Zacmariozero, who decided to remove all of his VS-Related content after leaving the VS Battle community. I've taken up the mantle of re-uploading one of his many bios that he has since removed albeit with a bigger upgrade in power.
Literature
Vilgax VS King K. Rool - DEATH BATTLE!
PRELUDE HERE IF YOU HAVEN'T READ IT:
SETTING: Krokodile Isle, Afternoon
Within the confines of the ominous, reptile-themed tower that made up the base of the Kremlings, many of the said crooked crocs were very busy trying to adhere to orders. As many of them were busy fumbling around with blueprints and instructions, two particular Kremlings - a rotund brown and muscular blue one - were making their way to the main throne room of the building. Once arrived, they were allowed access by two Kritter guards, knowing they were expected. Inside, an even larger and more rotund crocodile sat upon a throne, donned in a golden crown and bright red ca
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