So, I really debated whether or not to do this, and how I would actually go about doing it. I ran through elaborate plans in my head, considered grand finales and retrospectives, and tried to find out how I could make this meaningful. In the end though, I guess it would just make more sense to come out and directly say it: I'm retiring from writing Death Battles, officially. I know, shocker, right? After months of not posting and failing to deliver on promises made, some might have assumed I'd already done so without even mentioning it.

    Truth is, I wasn't sure if I even wanted to in the first place. Writing fights was something that I did consider fun. Coming up with strange scenarios and flexing my creative skills always felt like something fun to do, and I'd be lying if I said I hadn't come up with ideas even recently. In the end though, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. A lack of motivation combined with a number of other factors really held me back from it.

    If you know me, and especially if you hung out in the Death Battle Fanon Wiki's chatroom, you know that I grew tired of Death Battle. Following a fit I threw after some particular results that I didn't quite agree with, I decided to step away from the community for a little bit, and, after a while, I just looked at the concept of versus debates as a whole and started to question why I get so involved. Why is it worth my anger to argue over fictional characters fighting fictional battles. Why should I get so worked up over it? I realized something very simple: It wasn't fun anymore. What was initially interest in writing cool crossover fights and bringing to life ideas you'd never see elsewhere turned into a constant bitterness that hung over me. It was affecting me outside of the community. It was no longer about just getting creative, but about arguing with others and trying to prove some sort of intellectual superiority that didn't exist.

    Death Battle just brings back bad memories, memories that really, really hurt. My time in the Death Battle community coincided with the worst time of my life. I saw myself become somebody I didn't want to be. I was angry, I was bitter, I was mean, I was egotistical, and I got it in my head that it was all okay, because I saw other people act like that. I entered a deep state of depression and lost so much self-esteem that I was a walking train wreck. I can't tell you the amount of small things that set me off. I was a ticking time-bomb ready to blow, full of so much self-loathing that sometimes I just felt like I was living a nightmare. I hid away in my room for almost two straight years, arguing with strangers on the internet while I neglected my family and failed to make any new friends. My mental-state, which was already poor, deteriorated at a rapid rate. My diet was unhealthy and I didn't get enough exercise. Every time I look back on my time here, I'm reminded of something else I did wrong. Whether it be my arrogance, how I treated people, or just the amount of time I wasted, I always find something new to be ashamed of. The "Only" persona that I developed is not me, and it's not something I want to represent me. It was the image of a lonely, scared, and vile teenager stuck in a rut that he couldn't get out of, and it's not who I am. Not anymore. 

    Honestly, I guess I have thanks to give to the Death Battle that snapped me out of my phase. Though it initially made me act worse than ever before, I'm not sure I would have woken up if it never happened. Ever since it released, I've started to make changes in my life and grow as a person. I've made strides to get healthier, be more social, spend more time with family, and try to do more than just lay in my bedroom all day. I've moved on, and I've grown into more than the shell I used to be. Yet, there was something I had to do. I couldn't fully move on until I'd done something: Close down shop here. 

    I'm not going to be the person that leaves the community and blames it all on everyone else. My actions were mine and mine alone. There are plenty of good people here, and ones that I'd consider friends. It's just too painful to sit back and remember how I was, though. I can't feel like I've properly moved on until I've confessed what's really going on and finally close the book.

    As for claims and everything else? You guys can have them. Go wild. You can use my bios, no need to ask permission. Hell, remake any of my fights you want to, if it's something you fancy. 

    You may ask, "why go through the effort to write all this?". The answer is simple, though. I'm not looking for sympathy, and this isn't a display of self-hatred. This is simply to put my mind at ease. I can't rest easy until I know that I've done the right thing. This is the end for my Death Battle series and the end of my escapades in versus debating. There's no special exit or grand finale. Just something to finally bookmark the end of an era in my life. I want to thank , a true blue friend who's stuck with me through my time here, despite the times we've butted heads. I want to thank , for his constant support from almost the beginning, even offering me a research role on Battle Royale. Most importantly, I want to thank everybody who stuck with me along the way, who read and enjoyed my work. You were friends when I needed them most. As for this page, though? I've been honored to entertain as many people as I did, both through ups and downs, but it's time for me to end the journey. This is the end of chapter. Thank you for your support. Maybe I'll see you again.

Tagged by:

10 Facts About Me

1. I'm not very interesting.

2. I haven't put out a battle in nearly half a year what the hell

3. I feel like I can be a bit nasty and rude sometimes :/

4. I have an incredibly short fuse, which ties into #3

5. I have a kitty named Zelda.

6. I actually like Smashmouth unironically, most likely due to nostalgia.

7. I have a Blu-Ray collection. It's small and needs to be expanded quite a bit, but it's something for the moment.

8. I like Maya Fey quite a bit if you couldn't tell.

9. My favorite game is Ocarina of Time.

10. I haven't played any game in the Final Fantasy series aside from a mobile game, which I really should try to fix soon.

10 Questions ANSWERED

1. Favorite Color?
Green, even though it's not a creative color

2. Favorite Teacher?
Either of my journalism teachers, they helped me find my true talent: Writing

3. How Tall Are You?
Don't remember exactly, but I'm over five foot. I'm a short grumpus.

4. Do You Watch Anime?
Noooope. Only thing close I watch is RWBY. I did watch a couple episodes of Kill la Kill. It was pretty good, but I never finished the series. May have to go back and do that.

5. If So, What's Your Favorite Anime?
Kill la Kill, I guess.

6. What Do You Think Of Me?
Great guy, nice and always involved in the dA community.

7. Favorite Game?
My favorite of all time is Ocarina of Time, but my favorite game at the moment is a little indie gem called Game Dev Tycoon. Got it off of a Steam sale for 7 bucks last Sunday and I've already put in 28 hours. Definitely recommended if you like business management games.

8. Favorite Eye Color?
I love it when characters are drawn with clear, smokey eyes. IRL, it would be light blue.

9. Have any siblings?
One little brother

10. Favorite YouTubers?
I Hate Everything, Ashens, JonTronShow, retsupurae (heavily underrated channel), and Vinesauce Joel and Vinny. I love me some spookums, too. My favorite spooky channels are Night Mind and Scare Theater.

Question Time, Baby!

1. Most Hated Food?
2. Favorite Website?
3. Favorite Animal?
4. Night Owl or Early Bird?
5. Least Favorite Character?
6. 3DS or Vita?
7. What are my best and worst battles?
8. Favorite Robot Master?
9. Character You're Most Scared Of?
10. Favorite Comedy?

I will tag...